Scrapping Plans Read online

  “Really? Because you don’t look okay. Can I help?”

  If the chandelier’s light hadn’t moved on her ebony hair, Meg would have missed Joy’s slight shake of the head. “No, we’re fine.”

  “Hey, Joy?” Meg waited an eternity for Joy to meet her eyes. “I think we both know everything’s not fine. If you don’t want to tell me whatever it is, you don’t have to. But you’re going to have to do a better job of covering it up because Tandy and Kendra know something’s up. And I’m guessing you’d rather they not apply their fix-it principles to whatever’s going on.”

  The bands around Meg’s heart eased a bit with Joy’s slight smile.

  “How about you and I drink about a gallon of sweet tea each and pretend the sugar won’t go right to our hips?” She gingerly placed an arm around Joy’s shoulders and steered her down the wide gallery hallway. Each painting hung perfectly parallel to the next and Meg could find no knickknack out of place.

  Still, something in this house gave her a chill that the rain outside couldn’t have produced in its wildest dreams. The oriental carpet muffled their steps, and Meg cast about for a safe topic of conversation.

  The words died on her lips when they entered the kitchen. Dishes littered the granite countertops. Some sort of orange glaze had dried and cracked on several of the plates and a large baking dish. Wine glasses stood sentinel by the sink, their glass cloudy and dull. Black-striped towels that Meg remembered buying with Joy at Crate & Barrel were bunched up on the stove, which sported drops of a dark-brown liquid on the surface. Meg looked closely and saw spatters of something—dried milk?—on the floor by the far counter. A bowl in the sink half full of milk—from cereal— confirmed the milk spots.

  “I’ve been a little preoccupied.” The small voice came from beneath her arm.

  “No problem. Everybody gets tired of cleaning sometimes.” She led Joy over to one of the tall chairs scooted under the outcropping of granite that formed the bar. “How about you take a load off and let me clean up for you?”

  Joy nodded and looked off toward the corner again. Meg swallowed. In all her years of living here, Joy had never let any of them clean the kitchen. “It’s an insult to the guest,” she’d declared every time they offered. Didn’t matter that family wasn’t a guest. Not to Martha Stewart, so not to Joy.

  Meg searched around and found some dishwashing liquid. Of course, it couldn’t be something as familiar as Palmolive. Meg hoped designer dishwashing liquid performed as well as the stuff she bought at Target.

  In a few minutes warm suds built in the giant sink and Meg scraped dishes in its other side.

  “So do you want to tell me what’s going on, sis?”

  “Nothing’s going on.”

  “Yeah, I can see that.” Meg gestured with the red-andwhite scrubber, encompassing the room. “This is normal for your house.”

  “You said it yourself. I grew weary of cleaning.”

  “Who are you and what have you done with my sister?” Maybe humor would help.

  Joy half-laughed, but the sound held no mirth. “She died after the ninth pregnancy test.”

  Meg turned, then thought better of facing her. If Joy could talk more easily without their looking at each other, she’d grant that. “Ninth? Wow, that’s a lot. I didn’t realize you’d been trying for so long.”

  Again came the dry laugh. “You asked when Joy left. There have been tests without her.”

  “Oh.” Meg scrubbed. “How many tests, exactly?”

  “I lost count.”

  “Have you seen a doctor?”

  “I will this afternoon. People do that on their sick days, don’t they?”

  “That they do. Who are you seeing?”

  “Dr. Goodman.”

  “Are you meeting Scott there?”

  The laugh that Meg had already begun hating came again. “I’m not meeting Scott anywhere.”

  “What does that mean?”

  “Nothing.”

  “I think it may mean something, sis.”

  “Not really. It just means I’m not meeting him anywhere. Not in our home. Not in our marriage. And certainly not in Dr. Goodman’s office.”

  Meg sank her hands into the warmth of the dishwater and cleaned away what mess she could. A redbird landed on the block of birdseed hanging from a dogwood outside the kitchen window. Meg noticed the birdseed had nearly all been eaten. So did the bird, who pecked a bit and flew off, still hungry.

  “Did you have a fight?”

  “Hmm. I think a fight implies communication. No, we didn’t have a fight.”

  “How about a silent argument?”

  “No, that implies a commitment to caring. We definitely didn’t have an argument.”

  Meg held in her frustration. If Joy wanted to play word games for a while, then she’d play.

  “How about a disagreement? Neither party has to talk to the other past the airing of the disagreement. And it doesn’t mean either of them cares, just that they disagree.”

  Silence answered her and Meg let it go. She finished scrubbing away the orange glaze from the platinum rim of a plate and moved on to the next.

  “Yes, we had a disagreement.” Joy’s voice had softened another notch.

  “About what?”

  “Oh, about a lot of whats. Actually, about a lot of abouts. It’s hard to know which ones caused the others.”

  “Name them and we’ll figure it out.”

  “About going to the doctor. About whether we should be parents. About whether it’s his fault. About whether it’s mine. About whether it matters whose fault it is. About why I can’t let it go. About why he can’t care enough to not let it go. About what this means for our marriage.”

  “That is a lot of abouts.”

  “You were warned.”

  “Which about do you care about the most?”

  No hesitation. “About whose fault it is.”

  “Thus the visit to Dr. Goodman?”

  “Yes.”

  Meg waited again, cleaning the dishes and letting the words swirl in her pounding brain. When had pregnancy become so important to Joy?

  “Why does it matter whose fault it is?”

  “Because when you have a problem, you find out what’s causing it. If you know the cause, you might be able to fix the problem.”

  Meg nodded. That made sense. “And Scott doesn’t want to find out the cause of the problem?”

  “Scott doesn’t acknowledge there is a problem.” Anger filled Joy’s voice with a passion she hadn’t shown since Meg walked in the door. “He thinks we should just keep trying and praying and somehow all the stars will fall into alignment and we’ll get pregnant.”

  “That’s annoying.”

  “Precisely!” Joy slapped the counter.

  Meg cheered inside at this sign of life.

  “I show him the research that advises any couple who’s tried for six months with no success to see a fertility specialist. He shows me one that says to wait until twelve months. So I wait twelve months. We get to twelve months and he says we should give it another twelve, just to be sure. Meanwhile, neither I nor my ovaries are getting any younger.

  At this rate, I’ll be in a nursing home by the time my husband decides, perhaps, just perhaps, something isn’t working correctly in our systems.”

  “So you decided to see Dr. Goodman without him.”

  “At least then I’ll know if I’m the problem.”

  “And what if you are? Any treatments are going to be expensive and probably painful.”

  “So? I’ve never shied away from pain.”

  “No, and I didn’t mean you would now. I meant it will be helpful to have Scott’s support while you go through that.”

  “I doubt he’ll support me. He might leave me when he finds out I’ve gone to see Dr. Goodman.”

  “You can’t be serious.”

  “I don’t know if I’m serious or not. I know he’s serious about believing there is no problem. Going to D
r. Goodman is a pretty clear indication that I think there’s a problem, wouldn’t you agree?”

  “Yes.”

  “That’s not a small matter over which to disagree with your husband.”

  “Well, no. But it’s not big enough to end your marriage over.”

  “Oh, I don’t know if he’d end our marriage. He may just interrupt it for a while.”

  Meg reached for one of the black-and-white towels and dried the suds from her hands. She joined Joy at the countertop and reached for one of her sister’s small, cold hands. “Is finding out the cause worth ‘interrupting’ your marriage?”

  Joy turned her breathtaking blue eyes toward Meg, and Meg’s heart broke at the tears held captive there.

  “I don’t have a choice. It’s been interrupted since the ninth test.” Joy closed her eyes and fat tears rolled beneath the thick black lashes, down her delicate cheeks.

  Meg pulled Joy’s head to hers and ached over a pain she didn’t know if they could fight.

  * * *

  “KENDRA DIANE SINCLAIR!” Daddy’s voice boomed across the house and up the stairway. “Tandy Ann Sinclair Kelner! I know you’re here, and I better see your sorry faces in front of mine in three seconds or I’m coming up there!”

  Tandy dropped her glue runner and raised dread-filled eyes to Kendra. “What do we do?”

  “I think we face the music.”

  “Are you kidding? He’s going to tan our hides!”

  Kendra rolled her eyes. “Oh, Tandy, we’re adults. He can’t spank us or ground us. We’ll just tell him there was a misunderstanding, and he’ll get over it.”

  “What misunderstanding? Zelda heard us scheming how to break her and Daddy up, and we broke her and Daddy up. What, exactly, was misunderstood in that exchange?”

  “I don’t know, but we better figure it out fast because our three seconds are up, and judging from his voice, he’s talked to Zelda.”

  Daddy’s footfalls pounded up the stairs, and both sisters braced for his appearance.

  “I want to know what in tarnation you two thought you were doing.” The words came before his head had cleared the landing. Tandy gulped as he got to the top and crossed the room, one finger pointing. “I’ve done nothing but love you girls as long as I’ve known you. Your mother and I raised you better than this, and I’ll have you know you’ve shamed the both of us with your behavior toward Zelda. And to know you would have kept this from me if I hadn’t run into her at Darnell’s! Now tell me exactly what you thought authorized you to go meddling in my relationship like this.”

  “She told you we were meddling?”

  “She didn’t have to, and don’t you take that tone, Tandy Ann. Zelda’s been worried about the two of you since the first time I said ‘I love you.’ I told her she shouldn’t worry. I told her my girls were mature enough to let their daddy love again. I was wrong about that, but don’t prove I was wrong about your respect.”

  “Daddy, we only wanted what was best for you.”

  “And who told you I couldn’t make that decision, Kendra?”

  “Daddy, you know you wouldn’t see anything negative about Zelda.” Tandy searched for reason. “You said yourself you love her. We see her without the rose-colored glasses you wear.”

  “And what do you see with that perfect vision, missy?”

  “A woman who wants the status of being the preacher’s wife, who sees this nice, big house and all that farmland outside and sees a good life she could have.”

  “You think she’s a gold digger?” Daddy’s eyes widened.

  “I think she may be.”

  “So I’m just a dumb farmer and preacher who can’t tell he’s being swindled. Is that it?”

  “Daddy! I would never think that of you!”

  “Then I must be so desperate for companionship I’ll take the first woman that comes along, right?”

  “No!”

  “Then tell me, Tandy. What does your opinion of Zelda say about your opinion of me?”

  “I don’t think that’s what Tandy means, Daddy.”

  “What does she mean, then, Kendra? I’m all ears. Tell me what the two of you were thinking when you ran off the woman I love?”

  “You really love her, Daddy?” Tandy’s voice sounded twenty years younger than the body from which it came.

  Daddy paused. His words, when they came, were soft. “Yes, sweet girl. I love her.”

  Tandy squeezed her eyes shut. Kendra walked around to Tandy’s side and held up her hand to stop Daddy from joining them. “We figured this would come sometime, T,” she whispered into Tandy’s ear. “She’s who he’s picked.” Tandy took a deep breath and Kendra pulled her into a hug. “If she makes Daddy happy, then we might need to let her in.”

  “But—”

  “Not into Momma’s space. Into a new space. A Zelda space.”

  Tandy let out her breath, and Kendra met Daddy’s eyes over her sister’s head. Daddy smiled his gratitude. Kendra patted Tandy’s back. Tandy stepped back and looked up to Kendra’s face. “A Zelda space? Aren’t we too old to make space for new folks?”

  “I sure hope not. Or Darin’s in a world of hurt.”

  Tandy chuckled. “You’re right.” She swiped at a tear and turned to Daddy. “You really do love her?”

  Daddy nodded. “Yes. Not like your momma. And Zelda doesn’t love me like her first husband. It’s different. But it’s still love. Neither of us will replace that first love for the other.”

  Tandy put one balled-up fist on a hip. “Okay, then. We’ll just have to get her back here.”

  “I don’t think it will be that easy. She was pretty hurt by you two, and she’s not going to do anything she thinks will hurt my relationship with you girls.”

  “We’ll see about that, Daddy. Don’t worry. I can fix this.”

  Daddy threw his hands up. “You’re going to try whether I agree or not, so okay. Just keep me in the loop, please.”

  “You’ve got it.”

  “And Tandy?”

  “Yeah, Daddy?”

  “The next time you think I’m walking down the wrong path or making wrong decisions, how about you come to me directly?”

  Tandy ducked her head and smiled.

  Seven

  Meg turned another page in the worn Real Simple magazine and glanced at her watch.

  “I told you this might take a while.” Joy picked a piece of lint from her black corduroy pants.

  “I know.” Meg put the magazine down. “I’m not in a hurry, I’m just wondering if they forgot about us.”

  “We’ve only been back here half an hour, Meg.” Joy turned back to the book she’d brought from home. “That’s a normal wait time for him, and we know the nurse worked me into the schedule. I’d say we might wait another half hour before he gets back here.”

  “Are you kidding me?”

  “No.”

  “You wait half an hour every time you come to the doctor?”

  “You don’t?”

  Meg tried to think of the last time she’d been to the doctor other than rushing the kids to the ER for various emergencies. “I can’t remember.”

  Joy smiled. “Be grateful for your health.”

  Meg nodded and picked up another magazine. Convincing Joy to let her come to this appointment had taken some doing, so there was no way on earth she’d walk out before the doctor told them the results of Joy’s exam. Whether Scott had figured out that Joy had been to that first visit yet, neither of them knew. According to Joy, Scott continued to practically live at the office, and when he was home, he stuck his nose in a book or hid behind the newspaper. Joy even gave up cooking dinner a few nights ago. What was the point if Scott didn’t appreciate it? What if their marriage couldn’t recover from the hurts each of them dealt every day?

  “Hi, Joy. Sorry to keep you waiting.” Dr. Goodman entered the office and held out a hand in greeting.

  “No problem, Dr. Goodman. Thanks for working me in.” Joy shook his hand an
d settled back into her seat. “This is my sister, Megan.”

  “Nice to meet you, Megan.”

  “Likewise.” Meg shook his hand and focused back on the room. “I’m hoping you have good news for my sister.”

  Dr. Goodman took his seat and smoothed his tie. “Well, yes and no. The good news is, we could find no abnormalities in any of your tests, Joy. Your fallopian tubes have no blockages, your uterus has no cysts, and your reproductive processes seem to be functioning properly. As far as we can tell, all within you is normal.”

  Joy grinned. “That’s great news!”

  “What’s the bad news?”

  The doctor grimaced and leaned forward onto his desk. “If you’re checking out fine, and you haven’t been able to get pregnant in over a year, then I have a strong suspicion that Scott should be tested immediately.”

  Joy’s lips tightened into a thin line. “You’re saying the problem is Scott.”

  “No. I’m saying there’s a strong likelihood the problem is in Scott’s reproductive system, not yours. Be sure to keep the blame where it belongs, Joy. Not on the person but on the system. He doesn’t control his system anymore than you control yours. You do what you can—eat right, exercise, get enough sleep—but genetics are what they are.”

  “He’ll never agree to testing.”

  Dr. Goodman leaned back in his chair. “Has he said that?”

  “Pretty much.”

  “He might change his mind now that we know everything is working properly in your system.”

  Joy sat still for a moment, then picked up her purse. Standing, she held out her hand. “Thank you, Dr. Goodman.”

  The doctor shook Joy’s hand and nodded. “You’re more than welcome. Let me know if I can help.”

  Joy let go of the doctor’s hand and walked out the door.

  Meg scrambled to follow, shooting a smile of gratitude over her shoulder for Dr. Goodman.

  Joy didn’t speak until they’d gone down five floors in the elevator, walked the long hallway to the parking garage, traipsed across the garage to their car, and buckled in.

  “Either he gets tested, or he gets a new wife.”

  Meg opened her mouth to warn about ultimatums, but the look on Joy’s face stopped her cold.